


I keep trying to hide the way I feel inside

by lulusonebluejacket (anomeganeyatsu)



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Manon Demissy, Post-Pas forcément une meuf, Post-S03E03, mentions of mika - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 10:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17765042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anomeganeyatsu/pseuds/lulusonebluejacket
Summary: They're still standing there staring at each other's eyes. Trapped in their little world. Lucas should look away. He doesn't want to though. He just simply can't. Not when those blue-grey eyes are on him.Or: what I think happened at the end of Clip 7.





	I keep trying to hide the way I feel inside

**Author's Note:**

> This hasn't been proofread so I apologize for the mistakes. Also took me awhile to put this up. Episode 3 was wild. I wanted to put this out before the next clip drops. I wanted to do a version of what this Wednesday would be like but that draft is still a mess.
> 
> Title is from the song The Way I Feel Inside

Lucas looks back up into Eliott’s eyes. There’s something daring about his whole demeanor, a challenge that underlined that gaze. He knows he should look away, stop whatever he’s doing before he does something he’s going to regret. Something that’ll come biting him back in the ass. It isn’t for the reason of not wanting this.

Lucas wants, _oh does he want_.

He wants this thing with Eliott so much he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how or why. He couldn’t even put it into words. He hasn’t wanted anyone like this. His crush on Yann didn’t even hold a candle against this. This thing with Eliott dictated his every move, his every word, his every thought. It scared him to the point that he’s willing to debase himself to such disgusting behavior just to cover it up, just to protect himself. He knows that the more he distanced himself, the more he’s losing his chances with Eliott—if there had been any to begin with.

 _But you do now,_ that traitorous voice whispered. _You heard him. You can see it in his eyes right now._

Except. He _can’t_. He wants to answer that challenge. Eliott has made his move, it’s now Lucas’ turn. As much as Lucas wants to give his answer, he simply can’t. Not right now. Not with Manon standing right behind them across the street. Not right here in the middle of the street where anyone could see them. Not here where someone peeking through their windows above could easily spot them. It didn’t matter that the shadows obscured their faces. It’s still in public and Lucas isn’t ready for that. Not yet. (He isn’t even sure if he will ever be ready.)

“Are you going to go up yet?” Manon’s voice breaks him out of his reverie. He catches the little smirk on Eliott’s lips and he feels his face burn. He can’t believe he had let himself get lost in his thoughts as he looked into Eliott’s eyes like that.

He glances back, “I’ll catch up. You go on ahead. Mika’s going to be ecstatic to see you.” _That is if he’s even home right now._ From the kiss he had seen his flatmate share with some guy in that party earlier, he’s pretty sure Mika wouldn’t even be there. If he was, he’ll probably be too busy _doing things._ He grimaces at himself for even daring to _think_ about it.

Manon stares at him for a second before nodding and going inside the building. She knows what floor and flat they’re in, where they keep the spare key in case someone forgets to bring their own. Mika had informed her about that exhaustively. She doesn’t need his help getting there.

Once she’s gone, Lucas returns his gaze to Eliott. They stand there, just staring into each other’s eyes. It would have been funny since they looked like a pair of idiots, at a loss for words to say to the other. It doesn’t feel that way though. There’s a reluctance to break the silence evident in both of them. Hesitant to bid each other good night and leave. To leave this little world, this space they’ve carved for themselves momentarily and return to reality. The same way they had done last Friday.

And like that night, it’s Eliott that decides to break away first. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.” His hand reaches for Lucas’ elbow, long fingers wrapping around it delicately. Unlike earlier, Eliott tugs him gently towards the building. Lucas follows wordlessly.

His hand is warm. It seeps through the fabric of his hoodie and Lucas feels it against his skin. He watches the back of Eliott’s head. Observes the way the light plays against his messy hair turning it golden. He wants to reach out and touch. Wants his fingers to comb though those locks and find out if they’re as soft as they looked. His hand is already raised, ready to reach for those messy locks before he even realizes what he’s about to do. He’s glad he stops himself just as Eliott turns around. They’re standing under the awning and right at the front door of the building.

“You should give me your number.” Eliott says, his phone is already in his hands and his offering it for Lucas to take. “We never got to exchange last time. Bit of a problem if we want to make plans hanging out at my place again.”

“Y-yeah,” Lucas nods and takes the proffered phone. He enters his number and gives it back to Eliott. Fingers touching and static flowing between them. Their eyes meet. None of them say a word. Lucas gulps and averts his eyes. The moment passes; it still had been enough as an acknowledgement.

Eliott fiddles with his phone a bit and seconds later, Lucas fills his phone vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out and sees that a new message had arrived. It’s from an unknown number. When he opens it, a giggle is startled out of him. It’s a raccoon, paw raised as if waving in greeting, and the accompanying _Salut mec_ made it pretty obvious who it’s from.

He meets Eliott’s eyes, the corners crinkled as they become half-moons from the wide smile that’s stretched over his lips. “Do you actually have pictures of raccoons on hand just for this?” he asks him, voice a mix of incredulity and amusement.

Eliott only raises a brow at him, as if Lucas really had to ask. His eyes return to the ground, snorts and shakes his head. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Unbelievable,” he mutters softly, more to himself than for Eliott. Unbelievable that he’s fallen for such a dork. Unbelievable that he can’t seem to stop liking him. Unbelievable that he’s too far gone for him and it’s only been two weeks. It shouldn’t be possible. Three seconds of eye contact shouldn’t have left him breathless, shaken and wanting more but it had.

And here he is now.

Running away only to be pulled back in and falling harder and faster than ever.

Eliott steps closer towards him. Lucas looks up. There’s something in the taller male’s blue-grey gaze that has Lucas unconsciously taking a retreating step. Eliott takes another step forward and Lucas answers with another step back. It continues until his back meets a wall. Eliott has effectively crowded him in and closed any route of escape.

Lucas’ neck strains from meeting Eliott’s eyes, tipped in an angle where he seems to be asking for a kiss. Maybe he is. The earlier interruption has left him disappointed and a little bitter. He wants those sinful lips on him. He wants to know how they feel, how they taste. His heart is hammering against his ribcage. There’s no noise except for the rushing of blood in his ears. His skin burns. His insides lit alight with a fire he has no idea how to quench.

Eliott leans closer, eyes never leaving his own. _This is it,_ his mind says. _This is happening._ Lucas’ eyes clench shut. He’s afraid and excited. His thoughts a jumble and his breath ceasing from existence. Eliott radiates warmth and Lucas is tipping forward, drawn to that pleasant, comforting heat. He’s too used to the cold that he doesn’t even realize he’s missing that warmth. He knows Eliott’s face is closer now. His hair has brushed against Lucas’ face. He feels lips gently graze his ear, then a warm breath caresses the sensitive skin there. Lucas is shaking, his fingers digging into the hard wall, seeking purchase.

“We’re even now,” Eliott whispers. Lucas eyes fly open. He could feel the smirk against his ear, hear it in Eliott’s voice. It takes him off-guard. There’s a promise there. A promise that makes Lucas’ knees tremble, sparks his skin aflame.

It’s a wonder how he hasn’t combusted yet.

“See you around, _mec._ ” Lucas shivers at the sensuous lilt that coated Eliott’s words. He draws back slowly, turns his head just a little for his lips to brush the jut of Lucas’ cheekbone. Eliott steps back, restoring the distance between them for cold air to come rushing back in. He shoots Lucas a heated gaze, eyes running down his body like hands caressing every inch of him. The satisfied, devilish smirk remains on his lips. He turns and walks away without another glance towards Lucas.

He feels himself slide onto the floor. He’s a marionette whose strings had been cut. Eliott has been the only thing holding him up the whole time. Too drunk on the feeling of his company. With him gone, his legs finally lost their strength in taking his weight. He’s breathless. His heart is pounding erratically in his chest. His fingers reach to touch the spot he felt Eliott’s lips on. The skin tingles there, a telltale sign that _yes_ , he did not dream that. That the last seconds had been real.

 _Fuck._ He’s in too deep. He has dived too fast and now he’s drowning.

The thing is, he doesn’t seem to particularly care anymore.


End file.
